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David Lindsay-Abaire "Rabbit Hole" Lindsay-Abaire tells of the grieving process of parents at the death of their son in Rabbit Hole and depicts how people cope with this terrible loss. Becca tries to deal with her los and we glean at the hurt that she experiences. Her awareness of the loss comes in waves and she is barely aware of what is going on around her. Awareness and exaggeration works when she is confused. She actually confuses herself at times and has a difficult time sorting out her confusion. When she tries to figure out how not to be confused, she usually gets more confused than ever.
Her values and outlook about the whole situation get distorted. Values are the leverage points for the whole internal impulse to excel, because they encompass not only what and how but also why. Values provide perspective in the best and worst of times. Creating a statement of an ideal reality allows a person to start building bridges between the current state of affairs and the ideal one. People who take the trouble to create a life based on values will gain clarity about what they really want, independent of what seems possible.
Creating a statement of an ideal reality allows a person to start building bridges between the current state of affairs and the ideal one. In short, values provide leverage for mission, and mission motivates achievement. Yet for Becca, the whole world comes crumbling down. The grief is deep in her being and losing her four year old son, Danny, cannot be assuaged at all.
All mothers will relate to the play because the theme of losing a child can drain one of ones energy. The impact of the accidental killing of a small child needs a therapy session with a counselor because it is so hard to sort out ones life because of the event. Becca's life is amiss after her sons death. It is as though it has stopped moving and she just wants to stay in that place where she can relive her life when her son was still alive. All her relationships are affected and there is no one and nothing that can help her out of it except herself. She rejects the help offered by other people.
She no longer relates well with her husband and her mother. She cannot even face up to the facts and cannot easily separate the real from her illusions. She is caught in the confusion of her conflicting thoughts and feelings and desires. She looks for ways to put together everything thats happening to her and comes up with what seems best for the moment. Indeed, it is a moment to moment life for her because she cannot think ahead of that yet while the wound is still fresh. She is not straight with herself at all.
She is afraid that some stray fact that comes along might threaten the web of fantasy that she had spun to blind herself to something that she does not want to see herself. As time progresses, we see the character of Becca evolving. She becomes skilled in developing information to support her fantasies. She can look at the selected pieces of a whole truth. She can only generalize a single instance to a wide range of events than it applies to. What happens is that she distorts her perception in different ways whenever she does not take care of herself.
She allows herself from being tricked into giving up what she needs for her nourishment and growth. By distorting her reality, she avoids facing how she hurts herself. When she realizes that she has confused or deceived herself, in some ways, she can be gentle with herself. She does not have to go through that pain to get to her good place. After that, she can feel good about being honest with herself in this new way. The more willing she allows herself this good feeling, the more likely she can discover other things that she kept hidden from herself.
Becca and husband Howie Corbett is drowning with grief and as Becca's mother Nat puts it, may change but "never goes away. " This play touches the heart of viewers to a degree that many could empathize with what Becca is experiencing. Usually it is the mother who suffers most when something like this happens because she is the one who takes care of the child and who had the burden of carrying the child in her womb. Becca tries to find hope and answers even from the very depths of her being and she struggles with that all throughout most of the play. The Rabbit Hole portrays Becca from the very first scene as coping real hard with this death and it engulfs her being even from the way she talks and moves.
Viewers learn about where the characters are coming from because of the dialogue that reveals the plot. The play just goes to show that we all grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. The play tries to inject humor, building up the contrasting tragic and comedic nuances along the way. But the death of a child is no laughing matter so one senses that this humor is even a ploy to make the tragedy glaring and significant. Becca refuses the advices of her overbearing mother and does not see the point of going into therapy. She refuses to move on while her husband tries to move on himself by trying to attend therapy and seeking the company of his friends who are more than willing to help him out.
But Becca thinks she does not need this at all, when in fact, she badly needs to have someone to talk to about the incident other than her family members. It would be a big help if in fact she gets to talk to other parents who lost their child in a similar accident. Then, she probably would not be feeling all too lost herself. Refusing to seek these empowering sessions and people, she had relegated herself to being dead even while bring alive. For she is slowly burying herself with her son by not coming out of that rabbits hole where she is all holed up. The couples relationship suffers in the process and they do not even have the time and energy to pursue their life once again.
They have not slept together since their sons death and feels that Things arent nice anymore. This sums up what she feels overall and gives the viewers a glimpse of what is going on inside her thoughts. When Becca accidentally tapes over a video of their child, her husband accuses her of trying to erase all traces of their child. That is the same game that Becca does to her husband accusing him of trying to erase memories of their son. This is the contradiction that both are playing. They both do not want the other to move on.
In actuality, they do not like to see that they have moved on so fast with that event. It is a difficult task for the couple and especially for Becca who is finding a difficult time to really move on. Becca does not get a lot of outside reinforcement for creating fantasies that lock her into where she is. The people whom she lives with are all trying their best to move on. There is humor in some scenes and it is just a matter of time before Becca is encouraged by her lively sister and persistent mother. She sometimes feels threatened by their questions and in such situations she just wants to feel her anger and be done with it.
She does not want to use her lingering anger to keep her from listening to what others say or scare her into accepting what others say, yet she still remains in that overall depressed mood. Only Becca knows the conditions of her life as she experiences them. Only she can choose how to meet them. But to the degree that she is into hustling and conning, she does not really contact anyone. She exists for him only as an object and is happy that she has her thoughts of her son to herself. This condition where she is in becomes all the more painful because she is not accepting the death and wallows in the thought that her son is still with them.
Death can truly be a tragic event. But people must learn that these are part of life itself and that people are there to be cherished whenever there is opportunity. There is no sense in saying that one has moved on and still wallow in the quagmire of despondency.
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